Vices....

People have their vices. I do too, their fun. It's an excuse to indulge in something and simply say, "What?! It's one of my vices!!" For some people it's smoking, Facebook, cake, movies, alcohol or whatever....

One of my main vices is coffee.. Oh yes coffee, that wonderful caffeinated beverage that you can pour yumminess into! I happen to be a latte fan.. So naturally Starbucks is one of my indulgences... The seasonal coffees are my favorite! In fact, Eggnog Lattes are what I look forward to all year!! YUM!!!!! But I also love Irish coffee, oh yes! DELISH!
 

Around this time of year most people eat lots of rich, fattening food. Not me, I eat it whenever I want. But I also have this thing about loving seasonal food. Like in the summer, lots of veggies! Barbecued or raw with a light vinaigrette. Yummy! Around this time of year though, I love meat. Yes that's right meat! That's either been roasted, stewed, or braised.. Bring it on! But only when it's cold outside....

Movies!! I love movies! But I'm noticing that I don't like watching them alone anymore... Which sucks... I need a movie buddy... I find that when I'm by myself. I need to keep busy. It's hard for me to sit still and watch a movie in it's entirety. Like right now for example... I'm watching GI Joe, but not really. I'm more focused on this. I find that it now takes me about twice as long to watch a movie than it should.. Oh well!

The Internet... Oh yes... This should be obvious! Between here, Facebook, and YouTube for music videos. I'm on here on lot right now. But hey, it's my vice.

Now I am happy to say that I don't have any illegal vices. But if it were legal, I'd smoke pot. That's right I said it. Let's list the reasons why this is one vice that is okay to have. It's a plant and occurs naturally. You can't overdose!! That's right! You just fall asleep. It usually makes people happy and goofy. Seriously think about it.. How many angry pot heads have you met? Not many I'm sure... The cons to it. It impairs your reactions while your under it's influence, but so does alcohol. It gives one the munchies, which can cause obesity. But so does fast food and advertising.

Anyways that's just a few of my vices. I know I was rambling, but that was the intent of today's post.

I think I will do one more before the end of the year. Maybe a list of my favorite parts of 2010... Yea that sounds fun! Or I'll do it on the first, because I might be able to add something from New Year's Eve! Yep that's the plan! Thanks for read and hey... Have a great New Years!

The Holidays...

For most people Christmas is their favorite holiday. Others it's Halloween, and I'm sure there are a few people out there that loves Easter.

Usually my favorite holidays are Thanksgiving and Christmas. Why is this... Well for one reason there is an excuse to cook an obscene amount of rich food. Plus it's fall turning into Winter. And even though I am a cold body and hate being cold, I love this time of year. So go figure!

Anyways back to the subject of holidays. This year, Christmas was pretty lame. Yea, I went to a friends house, they fed me and made me feel welcome. Which was awesome and I am very thankful for that family. But I am looking forward to New Years this year. Yes, New Years! Or New Years Eve to be quite honest... If you are on my facebook page... You have noticed this mentioned quite a bit. I'll admit it.. I'm a shameless flirt, and yes I am enjoying myself. And yes, she is too (to both points... insert smiley face).. But anyways.. All I really wanted to say was... COME ON NEW YEARS... GET HERE ALREADY!

Okay I'm done... Thanks for reading. And yes I do appreciate and encourage shaking your head and laughing at my silliness.

PS The song that I have stuck in my  head right at this moment and can listen to on loop... Is "Check it Out with Will.I.Am and Nicki Minaj." Enjoy!

Things I have done while Child-free!

1. Sleep.... You don't realize how sleep deprived you are until you realize that you just want to roll over and go back to sleep instead of working that extra day... WOW!!


2. Drink... Self explained.. Heineken with a bomb sandwich from Dominic's. http://www.dominicksmarketdeli.com/
Go there it's awesome! I had the Schwartz Hero – Half 6.95; Whole $12.95
Corned beef, pastrami, turkey, swiss cheese, cole slaw, and 1000 island dressing.

3.  Hung out with a friend, ate, watched "The Watchmen" Ultimate Cut. (Awesome version by the way) 

4. Took notes from cookbooks, and baked a cake.. Just for me.. Oh yes thats right. Chocolate, with a chocolate cream cheese frosting. YUM!

5. Watched the first 5 Happy Potter Movies (I still need to buy the others, I know!) Maybe I will read the books again. Just for kicks.. 

PS... If you want a awesome dessert, seafood, or just as a end of meal wine. Try this! 

Angove, Nine Vines, Viognier, South Australia 2008. It's about a $14 bottle. 

Books I will read or have read...

YAY!!!! Food books!!!! I heart reading about food! Let's get to the book! After starting to read this book, I am noticing the trend of 4 in food... It's present in "The Omnivore's Dilemma" and "Four Fish." I'll read the others and let you know!
Currently I am reading "Four Fish" by Paul Greenberg.

 I like it so far! It's one of those books that tells you what is happening to your food, and what your food has in it! So... That's my warning.. And It may tick you off.. But I enjoy knowing where my food comes from so that I can make informed choices on what to buy. And ultimately what goes in my daughter's and in my body! Anyways.. I'm only on the first chapter, but I really like it so far!I'll keep you informed!

If you enjoy books like this, then check out "The Omnivore's Dilemma" by Michael Pollan.

 This book really goes into detail on what our food chain consists of.. But again, informed decision making is something I am willing to read about. It's a little dry and can be very long winded, but all in all it's a good book. Mr. Pollan breaks our meal down to 4 ways of acquiring it. My favorite section was section 2 and some of 4.. (He gets long winded in parts, but it might inspire you!) Yes, I highlighted it and made notes in the margin. I enjoyed it that much, hopefully you will too!

Books I want to read!!
1. 2. 3.
4.       5.

If you haven't noticed the trend yet.. I really enjoy reading about food. And yes Watchmen is random, but I enjoy the movie and all the stuff that goes with it. It actually shows an amazing view of superheros... I love it!

** As for my blogs on the bible, I'm having to get a different version of the message.. The version I have only has general questions, which I can answer in my head. A friend of mine has a good version, it actually tells her to reread certain sections and such to really absorb the material.

 My version is this one:
The one my friend has is this one:

Thanks for reading! And I will be back with more reviews of books, plus my usual rants and such!

My future wife...

Is Natalie Portman...

No seriously though.. People have been asking me these things lately.. Why aren't you dating? What's your type? Oh, I have the perfect lezzie friend, you should meet her!

My problem with the "what's your type question"...... I sorta have a type, but not really.. So I am going to attempt to answer this... Let's see if I am successful. Now seriously though.. If I had to pick a famous woman to be my future wife, it would definitely be Natalie Portman..

My type is a strong willed woman (she has to be able to stand up to my stubborn ass!), who is also intelligent (speaks correct English, and can stimulate my mind), curvy (in the right way!), in shape (to a point, I am not, so I can't judge), intense eyes, dark hair, cute to gorgeous, and a voice that sounds kinda or close to Chrissie Hynde (the lead singer for The Pretenders, she looks rough, but her voice... OMG!). Um kinda like me, but not (she must have a dynamite personality to mix with mine), artistic, reads (must read books, and little to no trash TV.... I don't know anything or care to know anything about jersey shore or whatever..), likes movies or will put up with my obsession with them, loves food, and will let me experiment on dishes at will.. Just a few things.... :\

Sooooo... Maybe I'm pickier than I thought.. Oh well, that's what I want! Doesn't mean that's who I'm going to end up falling for and needing... But I think more people should be picky, and not settle. Your happiness should come first, your desires should be acknowledged. So that's my type.. Now honestly though. I have been talking to someone, who I often refer to as my future wife. But there are obstacles... So I will be patient , and either find her or a friend will shove her my way.. Either way! It will be a fun ride!

Follow up to my last post...

Okay, so I was doing my self-assigned reading. (You know, me reading the bible because I feel an urgent need to..)

Anyways... So I was reading past the quotes from the lunatic religious group. And I read something that made me laugh out loud!!! And here it is:
Genesis 9:8-11
And I behold, I establish my covenant with you, and with your seed after you.
And with every living creature that is with you, of the fowl, of the cattle, and of every beast of the earth with you; from all that go out of the ark, to every beast of the earth.
And I will establish my covenant with you; neither shall all flesh be cut off anymore by the waters of a flood; neither shall there anymore be a flood to destroy the earth.

You know that flood that is supposed to wipe out all evil on May 21, 2011. Apprently they need to read their bible, because God said, I'm not going to wipe out all life again with a flood of water.

Wow! It makes me giggle to see what lengths people will go to, to scare people. Effing jerks!

JUDGEMENT DAY!!!!!!!

(Dramatic music playing in the background...)

Okay.. So I was driving home from In and Out just now after dropping off my daughter at school. And getting off I-5 were 6 (yes I counted them 6!) late model RV's with "JUDGEMENT DAY IS ON MAY 21, 2011! Visit http://www.familyradio.com/" On the front above the cabin. And this was also on the side with more garbage..... Now then my first thought was OMG!!! I am so going to blog about this! But then I was like, Mari! Research what they are talking about and then slam them..

 So I read their bit on Judgement Day.... OMG.... These people are off their fucking rockers! Holy Fucking Crap! Check it out... Here's the link, here is what the crazies are saying.. I will comment at the end.

Their view on Judgement day and their proof....


OK.... So.. I actually pulled out my actual bible to read these verses... These people are truly just picking the ones that they want.. According to what I read...

Giants will still roam the land... Genesis 6:4

Noah is the just man who saves people (not christ) and the animals and his wife and his sons and their wives Genesis 6:9-22

The flood came when Noah was 600 years old Genesis 7:6 (Wouldn't we have heard about this guy on the news ranting about going to his ark, the flood is coming, I'm Noah and I'm 600 years old.....)

It rained for 40 days and 40 nights, a day=1000 years 2 Peter 3:8 (So when the flood is over Noah will be 80 days into it, or 80,000 years into it.. Going off of their math here!)  Noah is going to be freaking ancient when this flood ends. Plus the water is on the earth for 150 days! Thats 150,000 years...

And yes he's there when it ends.... Genesis 8:1-14 Oh and apparently it took a few days to dry.. Another 3 months... Thats a lot of years....

Now then... From what I am reading.. This already happened.... I don't see where it's going to happen again. In fact, they don't quote Revelations ANYWHERE in their page... Thats the end of days right? Those are the pages people fear! Genesis is a history lesson, if you believe all those very long lives.... (By the way in Genesis 6:3, we are supposed to live to 120... Has anybody?)

Here's my thoughts on Judgement Day... God is not gonna pull the trigger, hang on a sec and hear me out. We have entered this phase of evolution where our tool making now involves nuclear bombs.. If there is gonna be a "rain of 40 days and 40 nights" that rain will be bombs. It will take thousands of years for those after effects to disappear.

 A friend of mine told me that the bible says that God will take the true believers to heaven with him/her before the rapture. I have to get the verse from her.. Sorry... God will not push the button, a man will. If there is truly going to be a Judgement Day, he/she's gonna pull the true believers and the people with genuine christ or god like attributes out of ground zero. He/she is going to let the wicked kill the wicked, while the good people, me and other non-judgemental, non-ignorant type people are watching from above. These rv drivers, who are trying to scare people will burn up in their ark.. I'm just saying! This shit pisses me off!

In my life time.. And I turn 26 on the 16th... I have lived through a end of days already, remember Y2K. In the next 2 years we have just as many.. May 21, 2011 and December 21, 2012.. Seriously.. How many of these are we going to go through, while we point and laugh at the religious nuts? I'm bored with them already, why don't they put that money that they are using for hate and do something worth while with it. Just a thought!

Sorry it's so serious today, but come on... Seriously??!!

my comments on the bible

Ok.... So due to a recent experience where I actually felt the need to pray... Yes I know, I was shocked too! I have decided to read the bible and kinda compare notes with a friend. I was recommended to read "The Message". It's interesting.

Now of course it starts you at the beginning.. Genesis.. And then I promptly remembered why I have had problems with the bible.. Now than... We all have heard the story of how God spoke the word and the world came to be in 6 days.. He rested for a day, hard work that was! And then he created man and noticed something was missing and created a woman... From a rib... Now than.. Theres the whole talking snake bit and how the snake and Eve pretty much had them kicked out of eden. My problems with this...

(1) Just about every religion starts out with a mystical being creating the world out of nothing in some shape or form... This is nothing new. But why oh why would someone create a world that is physically unstable. For example, shifting continental plates, volcanos, the crazy weather, disease... I'm just saying...

(2) He creates man and notices something is missing, and that his work is missing something of value.. That sounds like an artist to me... Only a (gay) man would notice that there is some beauty missing from his work.. So obviously we are truly made in his image! ;D

(3) God told Adam that he could name everything and have whatever, except the fruit from the tree of knowledge. Now then... A woman would never talk to an animal, and like a idiot ignore the boss and then eat the forbidden fruit. Only a man.. Who thinks that since he named everything, and since everything was created for him. Would go and pick and eat something (and most likely lied about where he got it from). And then when God strolls by, lie again and blame the innocent person (Eve) and the snake (who happened to be there at the moment). And of course God, who created Adam, will believe the lying jerk! Who then kicks everybody out.... Hm.. Just saying..

(4) Adam and his decendents live for hundreds of years... And why did this stop? Oh yea because they didn't! The oldest people are barely a hundred.. And thats freaking old!

(5) Everything was created in it's present form.... Evolution has been proven.. It's a fact. Dinosaurs lived and died before we came around. It's a fact. We have evolved from a more primitive form, Neandthals and Homo Sapians (remember we are Homo Sapien Sapiens). It's a fact. If you truly want to make the argument. Lets pretend and say that God created.. Um I don't know thow the Australiopithecines. And they were the first Adam and Eve.. We evolved from them. So we could make the argument that the act of evolving is the ultimate act of free will.... (Thats stretching I know..) But seriously, isn't believing in the above mentioned thing also stretching...

Anyways thats how far I have gotten. I'll keep you all posted about my rants and rages about this subject. But I will admit that I enjoy being able to pray. But not to God.. Thats too stuffy, so I told him/her that their nickname is Chuck! And it now feels comfortable.

PS Yes I do know that I am  an odd mixture of lesbian, feminine activist, and more... But I admit it! Till Next Time!

It Gets Better (From Pixar)

I ran across this video from Pixar. If you have a gay friend or family member that hasn't been able to articulate why its so important for them to come out. Watch this video then. This is the best answer I have ever heard for this. I have had countless people ask me why I'm gay, and why do I need to be so vocal and open about it. And I have never been able to give them an answer other than, "Because it feels right to me and makes me feel good."

PS.... There are quite a few gays and lezzies working for Pixar. I love them! I knew I loved Pixar movies for some reasson! ;D

YUMMY RUSTIC ROLLS!!!

Ok I made some awesome yeast risen "rustic" rolls yesterday! They are awesome. Here's the recipe and pics.

 P.S. It has 4! rises.. So plan on spending some time on these but it soooooo worth it. The crust is crunchy and the perfect tender chewiness, and the inside is soft and fluffy.

"Rustic Yeast Rolls"

Makes 16 small or 8 large rolls

1 1/2 cups room temperature water

1 1/2 teaspoons instant or rapid-rise yeast

2 teaspoons sugar

3 cups bread flour

 4 tablespoons white corn meal

2 teaspoons kosher salt

Whisk water, yeast and honey in bowl of stand mixer until well incorporated.

Add flour and cornmeal until its well incorporated.

(1st rising)

 Cover and let rise for 30 min.

*Or until doubled.

Spinkle salt over dough and knead on low speed for about 5 min.

Increase speed to medium until dough is smooth and slightly tacky.

*If dough is tacky add a tablespoon or 2 of flour.

Transfer dough to greased bowl.

(2nd rising)

 Cover and let rise for 1 hr.

*Or until doubled.

Knead dough 4 times a corner at a time.

(3rd rising)

 Cover and let rise for 30 min.

*Or until doubled.

Spray 2 nine inch cake pans with cooking spray and set aside.

Transfer dough to floured surface.

Cut in half and gently stretch each half to about 16 inches.

Cut each into quarters and each quarter in half. (8 pieces per half)

Dust each with flour, and roll in palms to lightly coat in flour.

*Shake off excess flour.

Arrange 8 rolls in a cluster in each pan.

(4th rising)

Lightly cover and let rise for 30 min.

*Or until doubled.

30 min till baking preheat oven to 500 degrees.

Spray rolls with water.

Bake for 10 minutes or until tops are browned.

Take out rolls.

Reduce heat to 400 degrees.

Invert rolls and separate onto a cookie sheet.

Bake until rolls have a deep golden brown color crust and sound hollow.

*About 10-15 minutes.

Let cool about 1 hr and *inhale because they are so good hot from the oven!

I found this recipe in Cooks Illustrated "Holiday Baking 2010" 
*I sub'ed in the cornmeal instead of whole wheat flour, I enjoy the crunch it gives the rolls. Enjoy!

Another awesome video!

Check out this video!! It's another awesome one, with Cindy McCain and other awesome people giving kids, adults and whoever an awesome message!! I love it!

Mkay.... Something about food.. Finally!!!

Hi all! So since my primary love in life is food, I figured its about time that I write about it! I know finally!!

So my new favorite thing to make for my daughter, friends and myself on the weekend... Pumpkin Spiced Pancakes!!! YUM!!!! And originally I was gonna put  the recipe on here, but I changed my mind... It's gonna be my family secret. Sorry....

But I did make an amazing batch of Smokey Sauteed Potatoes! And here's the recipe for that! Don't worry about the julienne if you can't do it, but you do want the potatoes to be the same size and big enough that they won't disintegrate into your dish. It's very yummy and would be great with some roasted, steamed or sauteed veg and a grilled, roasted or sauteed fish or chicken! Or it's good by itself... Thats how I had it. Anyways enjoy! And I will try to actually throw some food stuff on here occasionally!

Sautéed Smokey Potatoes

6 Small Potatoes (Julienne)

2 Cloves of Garlic (Minced)

1 tbsp Ginger (Minced)

4 Strips of Bacon (Julienne)

1 tsp Ground Cumin

1 tsp Sweet Paprika

1 tsp Mediterranean Spiced Sea Salt

1 tbsp Non-Salted Butter

Blanch potatoes

Render fat from bacon, set aside cooked bacon and reserve

Add butter, once melted add garlic and ginger

Once garlic and ginger are soft, add spices

Once spices are incorporated into fat, add potatoes

Toss potatoes until coated and well incorporated

Add bacon and toss together

Salt if needed, serve immediately



Hey All! Happy Friday!!!

Sorry it's been so long. I had a few tests, a mid-term and another one that pretty much set my grade for the semester. I did very well on both by the way!

COOLEST COMPLIMENT EVER!!!!
So the other day in class we had to study the mother sauces. And we had to make a bechamel. (YUM!) So Jill and I were paired up. We decided to put goat cheese in it. Our teacher came over and tried it. He said that it was "heaven on a plate"...... WHAT!!!! REALLY!!!!!! That is so freaking cool. Our teacher is very picky, hard to please at times. He came back for 2nds, 2nds!!!!! And used ours for a base as he was trying the other peoples sauces.. Jill and I are pretty much on cloud 9 because of this!!! YAY!!!

(BTW!! The group I'm in is really awesome! We all pretty much have a natural knack for cooking, so its a very fun and nuturing group to be in. Double YAY!!!)

Anyways had to share that.. Future posts.. They will be serious.. I'm going to really start studying religion, and I will be commenting. If you are offended by any trash talking about religion, I suggest not reading these. They will have a religion tag and something about it in the title.

Anyways have a happy friday!!!

LOL!!! This is awesome!! It made me giggle!

Todays post by the Debonaire from this site

Look at it! Its funny!

Another awesome video!

Obama said some awesome things in the video that pertain to many people. Not just gays. Watch it! I don't care for him, but I respect and love that he took the time to say this.

Another Suicide........

First off I am sorry that I haven't been posting a lot. It's midterm time... YAY!!!! But anyways.. The reason I am writing today.

Okay... I'm confused here people.. Another suicide... really.... We need to keep an eye out for these kids.. Because they are either not looking for help, or they don't know we can help... Lets please help them... One of those kids could have been our future Harvey Milk, or Martin Luther King Jr.

This is both a selfish and selfless fight. Selfish because we need these kids to hang tough and to stick it out to see how amazing life can be. Plus lets admit it, we need the surplus numbers showing that we are not an oddity, but a naturally occurring and normal awesome breed of human.. (Goofy sentence I know) Selfless because again we need to show them that life is worth it, and it does get better. And lets face it, saving a human life is the ultimate act of selflessness. And someday these kids will be so happy that they failed at this one thing... Suicide... Lets help out our youngsters. Wearing purple was a good start, but exposure and constant support is what they really need!

And even though I already posted it. I am going to repost my anti-suicide rant from the other week again on this post. So even though you already read it , read it again. And if you didn't shame on you... Read it now, pass it on. Someone needs to get through to these kids, and we are going have to use different methods and tactics to get through to them. And if my little rant can get through to some kid. Then that is one more kid who is going to be around to see us get our rights that we deserve! If you want to read it on its original post, its the 2nd part of my coming out story. And please feel free to read that too. My story isn't awful, but it hasn't been filled with overwhelming support either so...

 My Anti-Suicide Message

And this is my piece on that. Change someone's view on gays on a case by case basis. That is what it is going to take to do anything with the current view on gays in America. I am not a typical lesbian, I jokingly refer to myself as an undercover lezzie. I can work on cars, houses and such. I choose not to. I'm not that into sports, but the Cowboys are my team and always have been (even though I have no clue what their standing and scores are). I am liberal, but I do have my conservative streaks. I have long hair, wear make-up, like heels and dressing in a business causal style, hate dresses and skirts and love the arts.

 But those are my quirks, not my identity. If someone makes fun of you for your quirks, they are not worth your time or your life! I am sick and tired of hearing of these teen suicides. 13!!! 13 years old and dead and in the ground because they felt they had no other alternative. These are the kids of the Internet. They should know that all they have to do is google "suicide helpline", "gay helplines", "dealing with bullying" Or whatever.
If you, the person who is reading this are thinking of suicide, don't you dare think about it. It's a fucking waste! You are worth so much more than a bullet, noose, bridge or whatever. Don't fucking do it!! College, High school and junior high are such a small part of your life. It does end, there is a light at the end of the tunnel. If you have to, to be safe, go back into the closet, transfer schools until it is safe for you to come out. Get out of the Midwest, south, military or wherever you are. Taking your own life is so fucking stupid and weak. You are strong and proud of who you are!! Don't let those homophobic, lame losers dictate who you are!! Don't end up on a news story, as another suicide statistic. Be the statistic for the survivors, be one of the strong who can help someone else who is where you were. You CAN handle it. Death is not the way!!

The only way we are going to get the rights that we deserve. And the open lifestyle we deserve is if we prove that we are not morally corrupt, wayward or whatever the bible thumpers are throwing at us today. I work with a severe christian. And all I say to her is I agree to disagree with you. And when you can come up with a non-religious reason for us to not get married or have equal rights. Then I will listen, because there is nothing wrong with who I am. I am an amazing person. I am a good mother. I am a equal citizen. I deserve my rights too! And then, I act like myself around her. Because in the end actions speak louder than words. And you know what, she doesn't throw religion in my face anymore. She keeps it to herself, because it is her opinion and nothing else. Homophobia is an awful opinion, but people will have it. We just have to get these people to stop trying to pass their opinions as laws.

My Future Tat!

Hey all. The picture doesn't do the drawing justice. But this is what I'm going to do for my sleeve next tax refund time. I might change the horseshoe though.... Or no horseshoe... Not sure about that yet part yet... Anyways I love the sparrow, it's awesome!

The little one I did in May of this year. But I wanted to blow it up. So yesterday I did!

Wacky Notes from my Physical Anthropology Class

Okay.. So I'm taking Physical Anthropology this semester right. And we are in the primate section right now. This is freaking hilarious and made me giggle uncontrollably. Apparently monkeys are actually, and quite literally gay! What!!! I know!! So check this out.

The Savanna Baboon.... The dominant males make this known to the subordinates by mounting them anally... And jumping on their ass.

The Chimpanzee males want nothing to do with the females except during mating season. The rest of the time the hug and snuggle each other and groom each other... ALOT!

The female babono (pygmy chimpanzee) likes to snuggle and rub their va-jays during feeding times and before and after they copulate..... This was really all in my textbook...

I have 2 things to say on this...

1. We are decended from Chimpanzees.

2. Our fucking ancestors didn't have a problem with it, obviously it is natural. Quit putting your blind faith into a book that has been rewritten who knows how many times. By every ruler who adapts the new religion to theirs to avoid being killed.

Take that homophobes!! LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!!!!

(Yes I know this is really random even by my standards, but I had to share it!)

Watch this video!!!

We need more people like this guy! Someone who uses their position for the good of all and not just themselves! I hope no one punishes him for his bravery!

Watch this video! Civil Right Video that's awesome!

What is with kids today?

Hey All!

Ok.. So while I was work today, a bunch of teenie bopper girls swarmed the store buying toilet paper, candy and god knows what else! (Probably cheerleaders!) Now this was at like 1am.. I remember back when I was that age, we were not at fucking walmart at 1 in the morning. And buying tp... Seriously!! What the fuck??!! Who does that? Thats like cow tipping, or plastic wrapping someone's car!! And during the summer, you know when school was out. They were in the freaking store until 4am sometimes. Again... I remember not doing that. We were not that lame. We were either at a friends house drinking, having some form of sex, smoking... Or I dunno... Sleeping... What is wrong with kids today, where they have to hang out at a store in the middle of the night. Sitting in the middle of an aisle in a circle. I was waiting for them to sing something I swear. Wheres the campfire and the smores? Fucking kids! I must have been a cool kid or something, because I (and most of you) would NEVER hang out at a fucking walmart. So lame....

(OMG!! DID I REALLY JUST SAY THAT!!!! AAAHHHHHH!!!!! I'M OLD!!!!)

On a side note... It's finally cooling down!!! Thank you weather imps for listening!!!

Happy National Coming Out Day!!

Okay.. So first thing.. That is just fun to say, and my classmates thought I was a goof for saying it. I'm sure of it! But seriously, I'm happy to be myself, be open about my sexuality, and be who I am. And that's really what this day is about. It's about the day that you said, "Know what.. This is who I am, and I am proud to be gay!"

And on a side note..... I have a letter to the weather fairies, or imps in California's case.

Dear Weather Imps,

It is October!!! It is supposed to be cool, and rainy and freaking fall for California. What is with this almost 90 degrees crap! I am sure that alot of people agree with me on this. We would like to turn off the a/c for the season. LET US!! It's time for the heater and bitching about how cold and wet it is!! I understand that you thought that the gays might enjoy a warm day, so that the gay boys could go frolick and so that the lezzies could go off-road or something. But some of us (ME) would like to wear that really cute flannel shirt I bought and flash my cleavege in a delicious way. LET US!! Bring on the rain, so that our lakes will be nice and full NEXT YEAR WHEN IT IS SUMMER, and then we will be frolicking in bikinis. But right now, its fall. Let it be be fall. Please!!

Love, Mary!!

Have a great day everybody!!!

Coming Out Story

Part 1 Coming Out Story

I have been out for 2 years. I was 23 when I came out, looking back I really should have known at a much younger age that I was gay. But I firmly believe that things happen for a reason, and I know that I am much more psychologically able to handle the effects of coming out now instead of then. I am divorced, and yes I do have a daughter.  So here we go.

Looking back I can remember having crushes and wanting to be close to my "girl" friends back in grade school. But for some reason I always thought that this was normal. Didn't everybody find their friends to be cute? Be slightly jealous of their crushes boyfriends? I never really understood the whole deal about falling in love with a boy. It sounded limiting, and boring to me. Who wants to be a housewife, raise a bunch of kids, and cook dinner for a guy with a beer belly? I didn't want or pursue any of these things.

In high school I was known as the kinda popular girl, with a counselor for a mom, that only the smart kids were brave enough to be friends with. Thanks mom. I dated a few guys, but not really. My friends thought that it was odd that I didn't want a boyfriend, a husband and kids. So I ended up dating these guys to appear normal, and yes sometimes I was turned on when we kissed. But nothing like what I experience when I make out or mess around or make love to a girl.

I didn't lose my virginity in high school. And at my high school, Rio Linda Senior High School, we didn't have a huge gay population. And the few gays we did have were mostly scary, sorry ladies, but we did have a very adorable gay guy in my graduating class. And I respect the hell out of that guy and those ladies for coming out so young!

So after high school I did end up dating a guy off and on for a few years, but we broke up for good when he almost proposed.. So glad that didn't happen! At 19, I enlisted in the US Navy, these were my reasons, and no I didn't know about the Don't Ask, Don't Tell policy then. I wanted to get out of California and away from everybody who knew me. What I truly wanted was to be a different person, and the only way I knew how was to get the hell out of here! So I did, and I was stationed in Norfolk, VA for 4 years.

Now any normal, non-shy person, they would have treated this like college. Because lets be honest here, the military is like one huge sorority, fraternity. I treated it as a job, made many friends, drank a lot! But I was scared of that damn policy, even though we all knew that the other Mary in my shop was an open bisexual, who brought her girlfriend to command functions. I was and still am a worrier, which is bad and I know this by the way. So I didn't do anything about exploring my sexuality, I just clung to the bisexual label for dear life.

I ended up meeting a guy, found out I was pregnant, married him. Marrying him was the biggest mistake of my life. I knew after a week that I made the biggest mistake. And when I asked my family what to do, they told me to stay married, after a year it would get better. So this year marker came and went, and things magically didn't get better. Crazy I know! Around this time I sat him down and told him I wanted a divorce, he wanted to know why. And at this time I didn't have an answer. So we tried to make it work. But all that time I was trying to figure out what was making me so miserable and ready to get another drink.

Around the time my daughter was going to turn a year old, after months of soul searching, I finally figured it out people. I was a huge lezzie. And yes I had never slept or really messed around with a girl before coming out. I had to sit my ex down again, but this time I had an answer. I'm gay. I can't be married to you, make you and my daughter miserable because I'm not happy with myself. Lets just say it was a very difficult 2 years after that, but now we are civil, and our daughter has 2 parents who love her very much. So yes I was out of the closet without actually messing around an actual woman.

When I did come out, I told 4 people other than my ex. My friend Whitney from boot camp, who is awesome and extremely supporting, my favorite Aunt, my mom and my then best friend from high school. My Aunt said, "whatever makes you happy Mary is fine with me." My mom, "Did you think this through, are you sure?" Um yes duh! And my 2 friends, "You didn't know?"

Pretty much anybody who really knew me wasn't surprised. My mom is so-so with it. She used to ask me if I was dating a guy, I'd say "hell no!". And then it turned into, " You should date a guy so you can have another baby." .....What??? Yes I know, it's crazy. But I heard this off and on for a long time. Only recently has she asked if I have met any women, I should go to a gay bar... Blah blah blah blah.

My friends and family are for the most part okay with my being gay, most have never met an ex-girlfriend of mine. Because we never got that serious. But I do have awesome grandparents, who take me to go see "The Kids Are Going To Be Alright". Which is really awesome!

I have never met or encountered ugly homophobia. I have been stared at when I was out with an ex. I am very open about who I am, and I should be allowed to kiss or hold my girl in public. Especially if that heterosexual couple can all but fuck in public. I have never gone to gay bar, or gone to a gay parade, so I have never literally ran into anti-gay people. But I do encounter them in my day to day life.

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Part 2 My Anti-Suicide Message

And this is my piece on that. Change someone's view on gays on a case by case basis. That is what it is going to take to do anything with the current view on gays in America. I am not a typical lesbian, I jokingly refer to myself as an undercover lezzie. I can work on cars, houses and such. I choose not to. I'm not that into sports, but the Cowboys are my team and always have been (even though I have no clue what their standing and scores are). I am liberal, but I do have my conservative streaks. I have long hair, wear make-up, like heels and dressing in a business causal style, hate dresses and skirts and love the arts.

 But those are my quirks, not my identity. If someone makes fun of you for your quirks, they are not worth your time or your life! I am sick and tired of hearing of these teen suicides. 13!!! 13 years old and dead and in the ground because they felt they had no other alternative. These are the kids of the Internet. They should know that all they have to do is google "suicide helpline", "gay helplines", "dealing with bullying" Or whatever.

If you, the person who is reading this are thinking of suicide, don't you dare think about it. It's a fucking waste! You are worth so much more than a bullet, noose, bridge or whatever. Don't fucking do it!! High school and junior high are such a small part of your life. It does end, there is a light at the end of the tunnel. If you have to, to be safe, go back into the closet, transfer schools until it is safe for you to come out. Get out of the Midwest, south, military or wherever you are. Taking your own life is so fucking stupid and weak. You are strong and proud of who you are!! Don't let those homophobic, lame losers dictate who you are!! Don't end up on a news story, as another suicide statistic. Be the statistic for the survivors, be one of the strong who can help someone else who is where you were. You CAN handle it. Death is not the way!!

The only way we are going to get the rights that we deserve. And the open lifestyle we deserve is if we prove that we are not morally corrupt, wayward or whatever the bible thumpers are throwing at us today. I work with a severe christian. And all I say to her is I agree to disagree with you. And when you can come up with a non-religious reason for us to not get married or have equal rights. Then I will listen, because there is nothing wrong with who I am. I am an amazing person. I am a good mother. I am a equal citizen. I deserve me rights too! And then, I act like myself around her. Because in the end actions speak louder than words. And you know what, she doesn't throw religion in my face anymore. She keeps it to herself, because it is her opinion and nothing else. Homophobia is an awful opinion, but people will have it. We just have to get these people to stop trying to pass their opinions as laws.

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So that's my story and message. Sorry it was so long, but I have been wanting to scream out that message for a while now! I hope this can help somebody or anybody. Feel free to message me if you need help dealing with your situation. And please no guys hitting on me, or bible thumpers harassing me. I will block you.

New Blog!!

Hey All!! So this is frustrating!! I had a blog already, but due to (A) Never logging in and consequently forgetting my log in info, (B) The blog spot system can't find me. I had to start another blog. So I am sorry that there are now 2 of these. And for all the people who did read my previous blog, THANKS!!! I didn't realize there were people actually reading it! Anyways I'll try to keep up with this one!! Later all!