Updating the Constitution!! In theory....

Ok so.. So I started this little discussion in my political science online forum area. And I (a) enjoyed it.. It made me think of solutions to our equality problem. And (b) got me all idealistic and I actually want to go around and poll people and see what they would like to see for a finished re-written constitution.. I'm curious.... The discussion follows... It's between me, Seya and Noah. Our professor pops in at the beginning and end. Apparently I gave her an idea for a critical thinking essay... Oops...

(My Original Question)

At the beginning of Chapter 2 in the textbook the authors describe the tea party members as literally interpreting the Constitution for this day and age to back up their actions. And I've noticed that at the core of most political disagreements, when it comes to opinions on the Constitution. People either take it literally or glean certain parts of it. 

My question is... Should we update the Constitution to actually reflect our current climate, citizens, and problems of this day and age?

Personally I say we should. It was written over 200 years ago. The founders and authors of it had different problems than we have now. And I think that it is ridicules to go off something so dated. If we want to be a country that actually is forward progressing, and learns from our mistakes. We should update our most important documents to fit todays needs.

What do all of you think?

(Teachers Response)

Great question Mary.  I am curious to see what you classmates think.

Professor Tabares

(Me)

Thank you! I am too.

(Seya)

Your question prompted me to look at all the constitutional amendments: http://www.america.gov/st/usg-english/2008/April/20080416204259eaifas0.7985803.html

It's interesting to note how amendments were needed to give African Americans, women, and adults aged 18 the right to vote.  You'd think these things would go without saying, but only white men were considered people in the fullest sense then. 

Are you suggesting we add more amendments that reflect our current issues, or write a whole new constitution?

(Me)

First off.. Thanks for looking and responding!

Second, it is sad that rights such as voting and marriage are not available to all in the orginial draft of the constitution. To have to add them as an after thought is an insult to what we stand for. Which is to be a forward progressing, equal, and truly pioneering nation. Which we are not...

I'm suggesting that we write an entire new constitution. The one we have now is important! It is our history. But it is sentimental to hold on to an obsolete document. History changes daily and so all of us should change with it. Rights like that shouldn't need to be added as an after thought, which is what an amendment really is if you think about it.... Close the loopholes, and and write a truly amazing document that would surprise the world, and our citizens.. That would be awe-inspiring! That would be a true change!

(Seya)

I like your argument, Mary!  We do have many issues that need to be addressed head-on, that the current constitution seems insufficient for. 

But, say we got past the first hurdle of those who hold our original constitution sacred and would refuse to see it rewritten...And now we began writing our new constitution.  Even in the interpretation of the old one, people differ.  How much will they differ when we try and decide what to include in the new one?

There are issues which I know many people would specifically want to see addressed in a new consitution.  Some, adamantly, would want them addressed in one way.  And I, equally adamant, would want them addressed in the exact opposite way.

(Me)

And that's our problem. We need to leave religion, stereotypes, old resentments and such in the past and truly be open-minded of all cultures. But that is not human nature and that is our problem.

Hopefully someday someone can prove me wrong with that. I would love to tell my daughter that my generation was able to change things for her to have a truly equal future..

Maybe, just maybe... We can actually elect officals into office that can do that. Represent all of America and all of it's citizens the way we should be represented. As a collective whole that is not separated by gender, ethnicity, sexual orientation or political party. Wistfull thinking I know, but a girl can always dream!

But seriously.. If we were able to rewrite the constitution, our basic rights.. To have a constitution that reflected equality for all as a basic right for all people. That would be ground-breaking! I'd love to see that....

(Seya)

Yes, human nature isn't prone to empathy and compromise.  It seems we like to jump to conclusions and villify others first.

In theory, I would like to see a constitution rewritten to reflect our current issues and understandings, but because of this very human nature I don't think it would be possible.

I can't remember who it was who theorized that, in order to attain a classless state in society, a different sort of reform would be needed first: A reformation of our natures and outlooks as individuals, basically a shift in consciousness.

(Me)

Again.. Maybe we will see change in our lifetime. But we will most likely have to be the ones to implement the change by leading with our example. 

(Noah)

Pandoras Box? Let me play devils advocate for a moment. Would opening the constitution to re interpretation set a dangerous precedent? "I don't like the way the constitution views this. Lets re write it" Amendments are OK to catch up to the contemporary view of our public but an all out re write feels like dangerous ground to me.

(Me)

It would only be dangerous if dangerous people were in charge of the re-write. There would have to be a massive, multi-check system to be in charge of the re-write.
Let's say just for arguments sake... They have a census that the entire country had to vote on. And it had all of our suggestions on it. Plus people we voted on to only interpret our requests and put the appropriate ones on paper. (Yes I know, what is appropriate? It will always depend... But lets pretend it's equality and no discrimination of anyone. Just for an example..)
Some people would throw the "I don't like this and I want this changed" argument out there. But that's why we would need to elect people to re-write the constitution. Plus... It's already been done.. The constitution was originally the articles of confederation.. 
Everything is always possible. Action requires someone to initate it though. And our generation is most likely gonna have to step up and take the first step. If we want change, then we need to implement change.. 
Great comment though Noah! That made me think for a sec! And Seya too! I enjoyed conversing with you both on this!

(Professor Tabares)

Great discussion Mary and Seya.  It is beginning to give me an idea for one of our critical thinking essay topics.

Professor Tabares

Anyways.. That was the discussion.. Send a message with your thoughts! I'm curious!

Another awesome video!

Obama said some awesome things in the video that pertain to many people. Not just gays. Watch it! I don't care for him, but I respect and love that he took the time to say this.

Another Suicide........

First off I am sorry that I haven't been posting a lot. It's midterm time... YAY!!!! But anyways.. The reason I am writing today.

Okay... I'm confused here people.. Another suicide... really.... We need to keep an eye out for these kids.. Because they are either not looking for help, or they don't know we can help... Lets please help them... One of those kids could have been our future Harvey Milk, or Martin Luther King Jr.

This is both a selfish and selfless fight. Selfish because we need these kids to hang tough and to stick it out to see how amazing life can be. Plus lets admit it, we need the surplus numbers showing that we are not an oddity, but a naturally occurring and normal awesome breed of human.. (Goofy sentence I know) Selfless because again we need to show them that life is worth it, and it does get better. And lets face it, saving a human life is the ultimate act of selflessness. And someday these kids will be so happy that they failed at this one thing... Suicide... Lets help out our youngsters. Wearing purple was a good start, but exposure and constant support is what they really need!

And even though I already posted it. I am going to repost my anti-suicide rant from the other week again on this post. So even though you already read it , read it again. And if you didn't shame on you... Read it now, pass it on. Someone needs to get through to these kids, and we are going have to use different methods and tactics to get through to them. And if my little rant can get through to some kid. Then that is one more kid who is going to be around to see us get our rights that we deserve! If you want to read it on its original post, its the 2nd part of my coming out story. And please feel free to read that too. My story isn't awful, but it hasn't been filled with overwhelming support either so...

 My Anti-Suicide Message

And this is my piece on that. Change someone's view on gays on a case by case basis. That is what it is going to take to do anything with the current view on gays in America. I am not a typical lesbian, I jokingly refer to myself as an undercover lezzie. I can work on cars, houses and such. I choose not to. I'm not that into sports, but the Cowboys are my team and always have been (even though I have no clue what their standing and scores are). I am liberal, but I do have my conservative streaks. I have long hair, wear make-up, like heels and dressing in a business causal style, hate dresses and skirts and love the arts.

 But those are my quirks, not my identity. If someone makes fun of you for your quirks, they are not worth your time or your life! I am sick and tired of hearing of these teen suicides. 13!!! 13 years old and dead and in the ground because they felt they had no other alternative. These are the kids of the Internet. They should know that all they have to do is google "suicide helpline", "gay helplines", "dealing with bullying" Or whatever.
If you, the person who is reading this are thinking of suicide, don't you dare think about it. It's a fucking waste! You are worth so much more than a bullet, noose, bridge or whatever. Don't fucking do it!! College, High school and junior high are such a small part of your life. It does end, there is a light at the end of the tunnel. If you have to, to be safe, go back into the closet, transfer schools until it is safe for you to come out. Get out of the Midwest, south, military or wherever you are. Taking your own life is so fucking stupid and weak. You are strong and proud of who you are!! Don't let those homophobic, lame losers dictate who you are!! Don't end up on a news story, as another suicide statistic. Be the statistic for the survivors, be one of the strong who can help someone else who is where you were. You CAN handle it. Death is not the way!!

The only way we are going to get the rights that we deserve. And the open lifestyle we deserve is if we prove that we are not morally corrupt, wayward or whatever the bible thumpers are throwing at us today. I work with a severe christian. And all I say to her is I agree to disagree with you. And when you can come up with a non-religious reason for us to not get married or have equal rights. Then I will listen, because there is nothing wrong with who I am. I am an amazing person. I am a good mother. I am a equal citizen. I deserve my rights too! And then, I act like myself around her. Because in the end actions speak louder than words. And you know what, she doesn't throw religion in my face anymore. She keeps it to herself, because it is her opinion and nothing else. Homophobia is an awful opinion, but people will have it. We just have to get these people to stop trying to pass their opinions as laws.

Coming Out Story

Part 1 Coming Out Story

I have been out for 2 years. I was 23 when I came out, looking back I really should have known at a much younger age that I was gay. But I firmly believe that things happen for a reason, and I know that I am much more psychologically able to handle the effects of coming out now instead of then. I am divorced, and yes I do have a daughter.  So here we go.

Looking back I can remember having crushes and wanting to be close to my "girl" friends back in grade school. But for some reason I always thought that this was normal. Didn't everybody find their friends to be cute? Be slightly jealous of their crushes boyfriends? I never really understood the whole deal about falling in love with a boy. It sounded limiting, and boring to me. Who wants to be a housewife, raise a bunch of kids, and cook dinner for a guy with a beer belly? I didn't want or pursue any of these things.

In high school I was known as the kinda popular girl, with a counselor for a mom, that only the smart kids were brave enough to be friends with. Thanks mom. I dated a few guys, but not really. My friends thought that it was odd that I didn't want a boyfriend, a husband and kids. So I ended up dating these guys to appear normal, and yes sometimes I was turned on when we kissed. But nothing like what I experience when I make out or mess around or make love to a girl.

I didn't lose my virginity in high school. And at my high school, Rio Linda Senior High School, we didn't have a huge gay population. And the few gays we did have were mostly scary, sorry ladies, but we did have a very adorable gay guy in my graduating class. And I respect the hell out of that guy and those ladies for coming out so young!

So after high school I did end up dating a guy off and on for a few years, but we broke up for good when he almost proposed.. So glad that didn't happen! At 19, I enlisted in the US Navy, these were my reasons, and no I didn't know about the Don't Ask, Don't Tell policy then. I wanted to get out of California and away from everybody who knew me. What I truly wanted was to be a different person, and the only way I knew how was to get the hell out of here! So I did, and I was stationed in Norfolk, VA for 4 years.

Now any normal, non-shy person, they would have treated this like college. Because lets be honest here, the military is like one huge sorority, fraternity. I treated it as a job, made many friends, drank a lot! But I was scared of that damn policy, even though we all knew that the other Mary in my shop was an open bisexual, who brought her girlfriend to command functions. I was and still am a worrier, which is bad and I know this by the way. So I didn't do anything about exploring my sexuality, I just clung to the bisexual label for dear life.

I ended up meeting a guy, found out I was pregnant, married him. Marrying him was the biggest mistake of my life. I knew after a week that I made the biggest mistake. And when I asked my family what to do, they told me to stay married, after a year it would get better. So this year marker came and went, and things magically didn't get better. Crazy I know! Around this time I sat him down and told him I wanted a divorce, he wanted to know why. And at this time I didn't have an answer. So we tried to make it work. But all that time I was trying to figure out what was making me so miserable and ready to get another drink.

Around the time my daughter was going to turn a year old, after months of soul searching, I finally figured it out people. I was a huge lezzie. And yes I had never slept or really messed around with a girl before coming out. I had to sit my ex down again, but this time I had an answer. I'm gay. I can't be married to you, make you and my daughter miserable because I'm not happy with myself. Lets just say it was a very difficult 2 years after that, but now we are civil, and our daughter has 2 parents who love her very much. So yes I was out of the closet without actually messing around an actual woman.

When I did come out, I told 4 people other than my ex. My friend Whitney from boot camp, who is awesome and extremely supporting, my favorite Aunt, my mom and my then best friend from high school. My Aunt said, "whatever makes you happy Mary is fine with me." My mom, "Did you think this through, are you sure?" Um yes duh! And my 2 friends, "You didn't know?"

Pretty much anybody who really knew me wasn't surprised. My mom is so-so with it. She used to ask me if I was dating a guy, I'd say "hell no!". And then it turned into, " You should date a guy so you can have another baby." .....What??? Yes I know, it's crazy. But I heard this off and on for a long time. Only recently has she asked if I have met any women, I should go to a gay bar... Blah blah blah blah.

My friends and family are for the most part okay with my being gay, most have never met an ex-girlfriend of mine. Because we never got that serious. But I do have awesome grandparents, who take me to go see "The Kids Are Going To Be Alright". Which is really awesome!

I have never met or encountered ugly homophobia. I have been stared at when I was out with an ex. I am very open about who I am, and I should be allowed to kiss or hold my girl in public. Especially if that heterosexual couple can all but fuck in public. I have never gone to gay bar, or gone to a gay parade, so I have never literally ran into anti-gay people. But I do encounter them in my day to day life.

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Part 2 My Anti-Suicide Message

And this is my piece on that. Change someone's view on gays on a case by case basis. That is what it is going to take to do anything with the current view on gays in America. I am not a typical lesbian, I jokingly refer to myself as an undercover lezzie. I can work on cars, houses and such. I choose not to. I'm not that into sports, but the Cowboys are my team and always have been (even though I have no clue what their standing and scores are). I am liberal, but I do have my conservative streaks. I have long hair, wear make-up, like heels and dressing in a business causal style, hate dresses and skirts and love the arts.

 But those are my quirks, not my identity. If someone makes fun of you for your quirks, they are not worth your time or your life! I am sick and tired of hearing of these teen suicides. 13!!! 13 years old and dead and in the ground because they felt they had no other alternative. These are the kids of the Internet. They should know that all they have to do is google "suicide helpline", "gay helplines", "dealing with bullying" Or whatever.

If you, the person who is reading this are thinking of suicide, don't you dare think about it. It's a fucking waste! You are worth so much more than a bullet, noose, bridge or whatever. Don't fucking do it!! High school and junior high are such a small part of your life. It does end, there is a light at the end of the tunnel. If you have to, to be safe, go back into the closet, transfer schools until it is safe for you to come out. Get out of the Midwest, south, military or wherever you are. Taking your own life is so fucking stupid and weak. You are strong and proud of who you are!! Don't let those homophobic, lame losers dictate who you are!! Don't end up on a news story, as another suicide statistic. Be the statistic for the survivors, be one of the strong who can help someone else who is where you were. You CAN handle it. Death is not the way!!

The only way we are going to get the rights that we deserve. And the open lifestyle we deserve is if we prove that we are not morally corrupt, wayward or whatever the bible thumpers are throwing at us today. I work with a severe christian. And all I say to her is I agree to disagree with you. And when you can come up with a non-religious reason for us to not get married or have equal rights. Then I will listen, because there is nothing wrong with who I am. I am an amazing person. I am a good mother. I am a equal citizen. I deserve me rights too! And then, I act like myself around her. Because in the end actions speak louder than words. And you know what, she doesn't throw religion in my face anymore. She keeps it to herself, because it is her opinion and nothing else. Homophobia is an awful opinion, but people will have it. We just have to get these people to stop trying to pass their opinions as laws.

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So that's my story and message. Sorry it was so long, but I have been wanting to scream out that message for a while now! I hope this can help somebody or anybody. Feel free to message me if you need help dealing with your situation. And please no guys hitting on me, or bible thumpers harassing me. I will block you.